I Was Told There Would Be Cake

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From the Publisher

Whether youre involved in a love/hate relationship with just yourself or with the entire world, these essays will charm the pants off youbut not so as youll feel violated. Sloane Crosley is bright and funny and enchanting. This is a sparkling debut.Meghan Daum, author of My Misspent Youth and The Quality of Life Report

Hilarious and affecting and only occasionally scatological, I Was Told Thered Be Cake is lively reminiscence about growing up strange. Sardonic without being cruel, tender without being sentimental, Sloane Crosley will win you over with this delightful debut.Colson Whitehead, author of Apex Hides the Hurt

I love Sloane Crosley. In I Was Told Thered Be Cake, she navigates the social, the moral, the romantic experiences that prompt her to create her own voice and freshly define the world around her. Crosley is a post-modern Mary Tyler Moore, and this book is wry, generous, knowinga perfect document of what it is to be young in todays world.A.M. Homes, author of This Book Will Save Your Life and The Mistress Daughter

Sloane Crosley is another mordant and mercurial wit from the realm of Sedaris and Vowell. What makes her so funny is that she seems to be telling the truth, helplessly. Jonathan Lethem, author of The Fortress of Solitude and Motherless Brooklyn

I Was Told There Would Be Cake

T-RexDinosaur Comics

Cake the ultimate reward. Seriously, it seems like in games one of the standard rewards you can give someone, other than gold, XP or power stars, is cake. It’s sweet, it’s lovely, and it’s something you normally only get at birthdays and weddings. The perfect way to shrug off the stresses and worries of saving the world cake.

Can overlap with The Cake Is a Lie, as long as the promised reward is cake.

And, of course, ever since the release of The Orange Box, the appearance of this Trope makes it inevitable that somebody will reference Portal‘s promises of cake.

A subtrope of Food as Bribe, which is all food bribes that aren’t cake. If the cake is your only motivation for doing something, you might be Just Here for the Free Snacks. If someone stole your cakes, then That’s Terrible.

This Trope page was supported by theSociety For Cake Promotion

Warning: Stress relieving properties of cake are stated for dramatic purposes only. Overconsumption of cake may lead to obesity, increased likelihood of cardiovascular disease, Type-2 diabetes, and the accumulation of pink frosting on the tip of your nose.

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I Was Told There’d Be Cake: Essays

4,151 reviewsFrom the author of the novel, The Clasp, hailed by Michael Chabon, Heidi Julavits, and J. Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From the author of the novel, The Clasp, hailed by Michael Chabon, Heidi Julavits, and J. Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.I Was Told There’d Be Cakeplease sign up.

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Book Review: I Was Told Thered Be Cake

Plot: Sloane Crosleys essay collection examines the life of a 20-something with a collection of plastic ponies, a high alcohol tolerance, and low expectations in New York City.

Thoughts: I love this book. I love it so much that I lent it to someone for a year, and when I finally got it back, it was like being reunited with a long-lost, low commitment friend. And when I started to read it again, I was just as delighted as I was reading it the first time.

Crosleys essays are weird. Theyre bizarrely funny. Theyre like David Sedaris if David Sedaris was a young woman living in New York City. Theyre like calling and chatting with your best friend who lives far away, if your best friend who lives far away locks herself out of two apartments in one day and then has to deal with a sassy locksmith.

The standout essay in this collection is You on a Stick, which describes Crosleys experience serving as the maid of honor for a long-lost high school acquaintance .

Verdict: Read it, then buy it for your friends. Get it here.

Pst! This post contains affiliate links. Thanks for supporting Page & Plate!

Sloane Crosley Author Riverhead $14 Isbn 978

This debut essay collection is full of sardonic wit and charm, and Crosley effortlessly transforms what could have been stereotypical tales of mid-20s life into a breezy series of vignettes with uproariously unpredictable outcomes. From the opening âThe Pony Problemâ to the hilarious âBring-Your-Machete-to-Work Dayâ , Crosley is equal parts self-deprecating and endearing as she recounts her secret obsession with plastic ponies and the joys of exacting revenge via a pixilated wagon ride. In less capable hands, the subjects tackledâfrom unpleasant weddings of long-forgotten friends to horrendous first jobsâcould have been a litany of complaints from yet another rich girl from the suburbs. But Crosley, who grew up in Westchester and currently lives in Manhattan, makes the experiences her own with a plethora of amusing twists: a volunteer job at the American Museum of Natural History leads to a moral quandary, and a simple Upper West Side move becomes anything but. Fans of Sarah Vowellâs razor-sharp tongue will love this original new voice.

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Clever Musings From Manhattan

I have a tendency to be disappointed by the most well-rewarded female columnists: specifically, Bridget Jones’s Diary and Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. Recalling Freud’s agonised question, I would look at the TV incarnation of the latter and ask myself, aghast: “Is this what women want?”

So it was a pleasure to come across this, enterprisingly plucked from across the Atlantic by the rather groovy publishers Portobello. As I have commented before, it is the job of a good writer to familiarise readers with modes of experience quite alien to them, and I Was Told There’d Be Cake does that. I did not know what it was like to be a young, attractive, intelligent woman living in Manhattan I might have tried to imagine it once or twice, but been scalded so horribly by envy that I gave up after three seconds. But I Was Told … is very engaging.

Reading these essays – 15 of them, of varying lengths – is like watching a number of unusually thoughtful episodes of Friends. The first piece – “The Pony Problem” – begins with the line: “As most New Yorkers have done, I have given serious and generous thought to the state of my apartment should I get killed during the day.” Which more or less hooked me there and then and when the source of her anxiety is revealed as a stash of toy plastic ponies in the drawer beneath her sink – you’ll find out why – I must admit to becoming rather intrigued.

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Wry Hilarious And Profoundly Genuine This Debut Collection Of Literary Essays From Sloane Crosley Is A Celebration Of Fallibility And Haplessness In All Their Glory

From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions — or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There’d Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.

Sloane Crosley is another mordant and mercurial wit from the realm of Sedaris and Vowell. What makes her so funny is that she seems to be telling the truth, helplessly.Jonathan Lethem

Charming, elegant, wise, and comedic, these essays absolutely sparkle and entertain. Sloane Crosley is a twenty-first century Dorothy Parker, and this book is a gem and heralds a wry new voice in American letters. Gorgeous writing, outrageous humorits all here!Jonathan Ames

Whether youre involved in a love/hate relationship with just yourself or with the entire world, these essays will charm the pants off youbut not so as youll feel violated. Sloane Crosley is bright and funny and enchanting. This is a sparking debut.Meghan Daum

I Was Told There’d Be Cake begins with a hilarious first sentence, and gets funnier from there.Andy Borowitz

Book trailer for I Was Told There’d Be Cake

Blueberry Citrus Cake And I Was Told Thered Be Cake

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I dont always LOVE cake. I consider this lack of passionate love for cake to be one of my greatest character weaknesses, and I understand if this makes you as a reader suspicious of my validity as a baker. BUT, to you skeptics, I offer this short, cake-related rebuttal: blueberry citrus cake.

Just look at that beauty. Its no wonder people at the office potluck called it the best cake theyve ever had and made me sign a blood oath to bake it at their wedding. Cake lover or not this blueberry citrus cake recipe is what critics are calling the best cake Ive ever had and no, seriously, did you spike it with something? Answer: no. Im not that fun.

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